My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Another update, and then I just really never want to speak of this again. I never want to think of it again. Can't it just please be over?

I had a really, crappy, bad week last week, as any of my readers know, and lots of my Etsy forum friends have been staying in touch. Thanks, guys!

And life happens, you know - because small business owners have little choice but to keep the show running, and I am basically a one-woman show, so I had to be at the shop everyday last week, and I also had a day-long specialty class yesterday (Sunday) - so it was a hard week.

My best friend actually send her husband down here from North Georgia on Thursday after I had called her Wednesday night to just to vent - I had been keeping all of this to myself, and she was furious, and sent him to help me with driving, and lifting, and just ordinary stuff. And I just had no concept of how this could help me, until he had been here for a few days - you know, I have lived alone since I was 17!

But with John here, I was able to actually take my pain meds at near-normal doses - I say "near", because if I took the actual prescribed doses, I wouldn't have been able to run the shop. But he drives me back and forth to work (driving is one of the most painful things for me right now  - the only thing MORE painful is trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. And no amount of drug is helping with that!).

So, after all the rigmarole that I went through last week just to get my PMS on the phone, I had my appointment with him this morning. John and I arrived about 30 minutes early, and they took me right back. PMS was outstanding, and took a lot of time listening to me, and examined me, and told me I needed to get an appointment with the surgeon, because this was no longer a simple pain management issue (duh). I told him I had already called, and had an appointment at the end of June (first available, according to the surgeon's appt. desk). Well, PMS said, "I don't think so - can you see him this morning?" I said "sure, but are you going to be able to do something for my pain?" He said, "Oh yeah - we are going to do an injection right now, but while you are changing into your gown, I am going to run down and tell the surgeon to work you in this morning."

So I got my injection, and then went for some X-rays (again - no waiting), and then went to the surgeon's office (all of these places are in the same bldg) - and after waiting maybe 45 minutes, I was in talking with tall hot handsome surgeon (did I type that out loud???)

THHS wants to do surgery the day after tomorrow - but there are some things that we just can't reschedule and rearrange right now, so the surgery is currently scheduled for 6/24. He said that if I could wait that long, he certainly could....

I was on a bunch of pain drugs and sedatives while talking to THHS, but I know we discussed the fact that since I already had one disc done (one level above the currently ruptured one,) and already have all this hardware in my neck, and since my neck had done such a fantastic job of healing, with beautiful bone remodeling and regrowth, that basically it is going to be one gigantic pain in the ass, and much longer surgery, to fix the new problem, because he has to remove all this beautifully grown-over hardware. And naturally, I am going to lose even more mobility in my neck.

And the worst part of the day for me is that the Epidural Steroid Injection I got this morning hasn't made one dent in my pain, so I am still miserable. Took a lot of pain meds once I got home, and tried to nap, but can't get comfortable, so I just sit up and cry a little and feel pitiful.

And I guess I eventually have to send my friend's husband home, too - he has really been a life-saver!

Pity-party over!!!!

I just need little a cheering up today

About 14 months ago I had an ACF - an Anterior Cervical Fusion. Left me with a nice 4 inch long scar on the front of my neck, and a plate in my neck.

I had fallen about 3 months before that - I was trying to relocate some beads from my bedroom, which was getting far too crowded and cluttered, to my actual, designated, fully furnished 900 square foot beading studio - which is just down a long hall from the bedroom, in the bonus room over my garage, and required me to step down 2 whole stairs, carpeted stairs, to get to the room. I just preferred to do all my beading in the bedroom, curled up in my comfy bed, with my TV, and all my remotes, and room for Bailey to sit on the bed and pout while I ignored him.

But I just had too much crap in the bedroom, so I decided to move some beads into the bead studio. And on my first trip, my socked-foot hit the top of the carpeted stair wrong, and my feet flew out from under me, and my ass hit that top step at about 900 miles an hour, and about 9000 pounds per square inch.

And since I was carrying about 8 gorgeous lampwork beads in my left hand, my only thought at the time was "Save the Beads!!!!" - so I threw down my right arm to catch myself, and felt my entire right arm jam up into my neck.

And I was sore for a few days.

And then the neck pain, and the numbness and tingling in my left arm set in.

I waited about 4-5 months, and finally saw my doctor, and had the MRI, which showed the massive disc herniation at C5/6. He told me I could have surgery, or opt for some epidural steroid injections, but I should realize (which I already did, since I have a medical background) that if the epidural steroid injections worked, they were just a short term fix, and meant that surgery was really the only way to fix the issue.

So I had a couple of the injections, they worked, and everyone conferred and told me I had to have the surgery.

Surgery is really no big deal to me (other than paying for it on a struggling beader's "salary"), and the surgeon reassured me with statistics such as "95% of my patients wake up from the surgery symptom- and pain-free, and remain that way."

So I had the surgery in October 2008.

Most folks miss 4 to 8 weeks of work following this procedure - I missed 3 days (4, if you include the day of the surgery). Because I had just bought the bead store, and had (and still have) no employees - so if I wasn't there, the store wasn't open, and that really has a negative effect on getting the bills paid...

And of course, I was one of the other 5% - the tingling and numbness in my arm resolved, but the neck pain, while it kind of changed, and was maybe a little more tolerable, never went away.

When I went for my 6 week post-op visit, I was still having significant pain (and was supposed to be in that 95% having zero pain) - and the surgeon told me that if I was still having pain in 6 weeks, I would need to start Physical Therapy.

And so I became what is known in medical parlance as "lost to follow-op" - meaning I just quit going back. I had suffered from chronic neck pain for at least 17 years by this point, and had been through at least 3 full courses of physical therapy for it, with absolutely NO improvement, and I just didn't feel like ponying up the cash, on my meager beading income, for what I felt like would be a lost cause.

And so my neck pain remained constant, and unchanged - Not as bad as it had been pre-op, but still a pain in the neck, quite literally.

Then about 12 weeks ago I developed what appeared to be a simple case of tendonitis in my right elbow. Tendonitis is usually a repetitive motion injury, and that didn't apply, but all the symptoms fit, so I returned to Orthopedist #1, and he agreed with my diagnosis, and gave me a cortisone injection into my elbow, and instead of making it better, it got worse. And worse.

So I went back to him 8 weeks later, and confessed about the lingering neck pain, and how it was actually quite a lot worse now, to the point where I get frequent headaches, and often can't even turn my head left, right, up, or down, and he ordered an MRI. (of my neck - not my elbow)

He called me today, and told me I have disc herniation at C6/7, with significant impingement on the nerve root, and need to see the neck surgeon again. (Ortho #1 does all ortho surgeries except the neck and back).

I asked him if we could try the epidural steroid injections again instead, and he said sure - and evidently the anesthesiologist who does them was standing there next to him, because they said if I could come to the office in an hour, they would go ahead a give me one.

So I show up, and the anesthesiologist (the pain management specialist) does a full exam, strongly feels that my elbow pain is still your basic garden variety tendonitis and completely unrelated to my herniated disc, but agrees that I need neck surgery - but he'll go ahead and do the epidural steroid injection, both on a therapeutic basis (meaning I'll hopefully get some relief) and on a diagnostic basis (meaning that if my neck pain and/or elbow pain resolve, then he knows they are coming from the disc herniation).

I get the shot, and within 30 minutes the elbow pain is gone.

But my neck pain is now 100% worse. But this is to be expected, from all the manipulating he did in there -

And, on an unrelated note, my best friend died last week from complication of a stroke she suffered 8 months ago.

So I'm sitting here on some pain medication, and having a little pity party - no balloons, but I am eating chocolate cookies (and diet coke!) for dinner, and posting 3 pictures that make me feel better.

Thanks for listening. Enjoy my pictures!