Look at Lil' Gumball now

This is Gumball this morning - he is filling out, and his eyes are bright and shiny, and he runs up and down stairs, and jumps up on the furniture. And is housebroken - Yay!


He still sleeps a lot, but not the 23 hours a day he was pulling last week. He eats like it is going out of style, and makes a gigantic mess, since he has no lower jaw: he picks up the food by swirling his tongue at the bowl, and a good bit of it hits the floor. Sometimes HE cleans this up, and sometimes Bailey does.


I am hoping to find a home for him, because he needs a lot more one-on-one love and attention than I can give him everyday - he'd be so perfect for someone retired who wants something to take care of. And he is just a sweet lovey boy.

And if no one steps forward, then I guess he is already home.

Just another Sunday - NOT

We slept a little late this AM, and once everyone had had morning pees, and poops, and breakfast, and the little one had had his meds, we all headed upstairs. I was going to start beading, but that was over 4 hours ago, and here I still sit on the computer. You guys know how that goes.

Somehow, the little dog and I made it upstairs before Bailey. The little one, who I have re-named Gumball, because I didn't like Gumbo as a name for him, decided he wanted to sit on the bed, and tried unsuccessfully to jump up there - he had no chance, even in perfect health, to make it, IMO, but he keeps surprising me everyday with his improvements. But I lifted him up, and he ran up towards the pillows, and settled right in.

Bailey soon bounded upstairs (he had been thoroughly checking the kitchen floor for any spillage Gumball might have left, and then thoroughly cleaning it up for me, which takes awhile, because Gumball makes a big mess for a little dog!)

And in case you can't tell from this picture, one of these dogs is happy, and one is giving his very best pout! How DARE I share my bed with another dog.

As it turns out, they were both basically sitting in my way, so I eased onto my spot, and just shifted Gumball a few inches to the right, and Bailey moved himself to the end of the bed, out of my way.

Gumball saw where Bailey had gone, and I think I may have accidentally elbowed Gumball, and he hopped up and headed down to the end of the bed near Bailey. And in case you can't tell, Bailey is now REALLY unhappy. But they both stayed there for a couple of hours, until I decided we might as well take a pee break.

When we came back inside, Gumball, who is now pretty enthusiastically bounding up the stairs, headed straight for Bailey's super-deluxe lambswool bed behind the chair (pay NO attention to all the dog hair and the scuffs on the wall - that is Bailey's interior decorating style) - and he is still there, napping.

He spends a lot of time napping -after all, he is 105 years old in human years!

But all Bailey noticed was MY empty bed, so he hopped right up with his Baby, and chilled out. For awhile - then I accidentally touched him with my foot, which is a big no-no, so he jumped down to get into his bed, and discovered the interloper!

He gave it a little thought, and then headed over to this bed - which used to be his bed before I upgraded to the deluxe.

I hauled it upstairs this morning for Gumball, but Gumball had bigger ideas - and went deluxe.

So this is another patented pouty face from Bailey.

And now Bailey is up and growling at me because he wants to get in his own special bed, and it is occupied. But he is so sweet and so docile that he would never tried to evict Gumball! But he really wants ME to take care of it!

I doubt this will end well

Our new little visitor came home from work today all tuckered out (doesn't take much to tucker him out) and he wandered behind a chair in my bedroom and discovered Bailey's bed. And he curled up, and hasn't moved yet.

It's been 2.5 hours now.

Bailey hasn't noticed yet - he is reveling in having me all to himself on the bed. But he will notice eventually.

Can't wait to see how that goes - last night, after the little guy had finished his dinner, he strolled over to Bailey's dinner, and proceeded to start drinking all the "gravy" out of Bailey's bowl. I had been upstairs changing clothes, and I came down to discover Bailey lying down 6 feet away from his bowl, watching the little guy chow down - my big old baby submissive Bailey had just walked away from his food, and offered it up to the intruder.

We'll see if he shares his bed. My guess is he will go find another comfy place, like the throw rug int the bathroom, and sack out there, rather than force a confrontation. He is such a sweet sharer!

Rescuing Gumbo

While driving to work yesterday morning, on a long country road that is not heavily traveled, but those who DO use it drive ~60 mph, I spotted a very small dog ambling slowly toward me in the middle of my lane.

This road is a notorious dog-dumping area, and the dogs usually form small packs and travel together, and always get off the road when cars are coming. And people feed them (volunteers stop several times a week and slice open large bags of dry dog food in a couple of places way off to the side of this road), so other than the fact that it is 100 degrees everyday right now, I don't worry too much about these doggies (there is a big creek and a lake right there, for water) - but this little dog was different. He was not showing any signs of getting off the road, so I stopped the car - the road was deserted; got out and crouched down, and he slowly walked straight to me. I scooped him up and plopped him in the passenger seat, and started driving on toward Augusta.

All this time I was thinking this was a puppy - he was SO small, and so friendly - but I was driving rather than paying much attention to him, and he had settled down with his back to me. Bailey was camped out in the back seat, but more than a little curious, and thousands of thoughts were running through my head - I figured that a stray (he had no collar, and was kind of bedraggled looking) whose tongue was hanging 3 inches out of his mouth and was probably sick - certainly dehydrated and malnourished, and probably infested with ticks and fleas and GI parasites, and possibly heartworm, and who knew what else. I just knew I couldn't take him to the store with me and Bailey.

So I pulled up to the store, and quickly shoved Bailey inside, and grabbed a cup of water, and returned to the car. The dog refused the water, which I knew couldn't be good, and I drove on to an Acute Care Animal Hospital that I had had to use once for Bailey.

I filled out all the paperwork, and they put me in an exam room with him to wait for the doctor. The doctor knew I had essentially no money, and when she came in, she actually looked at the dog (of course, she did a full exam) but after just a quick look she asked me what I wanted to do, as this dog was probably 15 years old, and had previously had his entire mandible (lower jaw) surgically removed, as well as all of his upper teeth removed surgically, and might possibly be quite ill.

I told her that I didn't rescue him just to bring him in for her to kill him, and we agreed that she would do some basic bloodwork - some simple chemistry and hematology panels, and also the blood test for heartworm, and they would check his stool for GI parasites (worms, basically). She could tell he was anemic because of the color of his tongue, and he was just covered with ticks and fleas, so they were going to give him a Capstar tablet to get rid of all the fleas, and then bathe him. He weighed 11 lbs, and I am certain 1 lb of this was fleas

I left him there, and the doctor told me she would call when she knew more - but we had agreed that if there was evidence of organ failure or other serious medical illnesses that it wouldn't make sense to do much more for him.

On the way back to the shop, I kept thinking, "What have I done?" Bailey is such a Mama's boy, and this was clearly an older, and sick dog. I stopped at Target and picked up flea spray (the kind you spray on the dog AND the kind you spray on carpets, upholstery, etc) and flea bombs, and when I got back to the shop I immediately sprayed down the car, and then went inside and sprayed down Bailey really well.

The vet called me late that afternoon to tell me that ALL of his bloodwork was normal except he was profoundly anemic, but that he had no heartworm, no GI worms - was actually very healthy other than being malnourished and dehydrated, and anemic. He was showing severe allergic and infectious reactions to the flea bites - so she was starting him on prednisone and antibiotics, and liquid iron for his anemia. She said he had a ferocious appetite, and had eaten 3 servings of a special gruel type of dogfood they had (he has to have pureed food, because he has no teeth, and even if he had upper teeth, he has no lower jaw, so he still wouldn't be able to chew. He had drunk a little bit, but she had also given him IV fluids. And he was 100% free of fleas and ticks, and I could come get him.

After the shop closed, I took Bailey and went to pick up the dog. The tech and the doctor spent a long time explaining to me how to feed him, and how to get him to drink water, and how to give him his meds. The vet felt very strongly that this poor dog had NOT been abandoned - the surgeries that he has undergone are very expensive, and take a lot of recovery time, and she felt that no one would invest that much time and energy into saving a pet (she suspects the surgery was done for cancer) would then abandon the animal. And she explained that he had been very well-cared for up until he went missing, because he had obviously been on heartworm medicine, and he couldn't have been gone too long because he hadn't picked up any GI parasites, and because of the fact that he can only eat pureed food, and certainly wasn't going to find this in the wild, so he could not have been out there for long.

And, it turns out, the vet had named him "Gumbo" while he followed her around all day. I really have mixed feelings about that, because if I can find his owners, I want him to return home, and giving him a name makes it that much harder to remain a little emotionally detached.

When I arrived home, I took him outside and he peed, and we went inside and I placed him in my bathtub while I went about digging Bailey's old crate (poor Bailey refused to house train, and I had to train him with a crate. Only took 2 days, but it was totally worth the price of the crate!) out of the attic and assembling it. It took about 45 minutes to get the thing out of the attic and get it put together, and since I wasn't entirely sure about the dog's house-training skills, I decided the bathtub was the safest place. And he promptly fell asleep in there. I figured he must be exhausted - I imagined that this poor old dog had been walking for several days, and not eating or drinking, and I knew he hadn't slept at the Animal Hospital, so I just assumed he was tired.

I found an old comforter to put in the crate, and put a water bowl in there, and put the dog in there, and he curled up and went to sleep.

I woke him up a few hours later to eat, and take meds, and go outside. Then I held him in my lap for several hours - thinking I was showing him he was safe, etc. Bailey was mightily peeved by this lap time stuff.

Took him out again around 11 PM, and he peed, and I put him back in the crate (which is huge!) and he slept through 'til 8:30 this morning. I carried him outside, he peed, we came in, he ate - and we went to work.

I had found a basket that fit him nicely, and put some towels in it, and he curled up and slept. Slept in that basket behind the register for most of the day.

He can hear pretty well, and he sees well, and is sweet as can be. He does NOT like to be picked up - I think it hurts his arthritis. He doesn't mind being held, but the picking up is a struggle. And I don't want to hurt him, but I carry him up and down stairs, and if we are walking long distances (like to the pee-spot at work) because he just can't seem to walk this far yet, and he was having some trouble with stairs.

At first, last night, he could only make it up my deck stairs if I lifted his butt - he would lift up the front of his body, and then I would carry the butt end up the step -and that's how we got up the 6 or 7 deck stairs. Then, this morning, he started trying to do the deck stairs on his own, but he had a little sideways hop method that scared me a bit, so I ended up helping him again. Then, after work tonight, he just bolted straight up the deck steps - so I am seeing little improvements all the time.

I realize that he was sick and tired and run down and anemic and malnourished yesterday, and we have him on all these medications to restore him back to his baseline. And I hope his baseline is fairly healthy. I recognize that he probably HAD cancer, and it can always come back.

So he slept about 22 out of the past 24 hours, and I don't know whether this is normal for him, or part of his recovery process.

I'm trying everything I know to do to find his owners (if they indeed want him) - but I have an appt in 10 days to see Bailey's vet, and become an official member of our family.

He gives every appearance of being house-trained; he woke up today at the shop and stood up and kind of looked at me, and I carried him outside, and he had a nice long pee - he has had no accidents inside. And he hasn't pooped yet at all, but the vet said that is due to him not having eaten for a number of days.

The fact that he has no lower jaw makes eating a very peculiar process, but he is clearly used to this. His tongue hangs out because there is no way for him to close his mouth. When he eats or drinks, he kind of twirls his tongue like a prop-plane propeller, and scoops some food or water onto it and flicks it to the back of his throat. This is much more efficient with food, because it sticks to his tongue, and he can get it back there and swallow it. With water, most of the water flies off before he can get it swallowed, and more ends up on his chest and the floor than in his throat, so the vet suggested today that I started serving him water through a syringe, directly into the back of his throat - and he doesn't mind at all.

So I may or may not have a new dog - Bailey walks 3 miles out of his way to avoid walking near the crate the dog is in. It's pretty funny - he goes behind chairs, over the bed, and under tables just to avoid walking by the crate. I am not sure if it is because he remembers being in it when he was 7 weeks old, or because the new dog is in there. When we are outside, he tries to get the new dog to play - I guess because it is so small that it looks like a puppy. Bailey goes down into a play bow, and then charges the dog, who just casually steps to the side and totters away. And Bailey definitely does not want me holding the new dog in my lap.

Just really not sure how this is gonna turn out. I know I spent $500 yesterday at the Animal Hospital, and that special food and a geriatric dog with health issues isn't really something I want to sign up for. But I know I couldn't have left him on that road.

Ideally, all the flyers, or newspaper ads, or Facebooking will help locate his owners, and they will welcome him home.

If you are reading this, and live in the Aiken/North Augusta/Augusta area, please Facebook it, or Tweet it, or e-mail it to anyone you know in this area - I really want to get the word out about this little guy!.

We're off to see the ENT

Well, the steroids worked on my plantar faciitis, but not on my voice (or lack thereof).

THHS has now referred me to an ENT. An Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. An otolaryngologist. A freakin' throat surgeon.

The ENT's is supposed to call me to schedule an appt. Can't wait.

But the bright side: at least I am not wheel-chair bound, with a horrific scar, like poor Rosie Perez.

Oooh - don't get me started, Rosie Perez

I had the TV on for background noise last night as I checked e-mail, etc. Unfortunately, Entertainment Tonight was on - normally, I would have changed the channel, because ET, Mary Hart, and everyone associated with that show are really grossly mistaken about how much the average American is interested in their "Entertainment News" items. Ever noticed how, after most of the stories, Mary or her male counterpart will "ad lib" to the other one something along the lines of "and we all can't wait to see how that turns out!!" - Well, yeah, actually, most of us don't give a shit.

But I digress. And I couldn't find the remote.

Last night, ET kept "teasing" this "top story" about Rosie Perez, and some injury she allegedly suffered on the set of Law & Order, SVU, (*waves @ Chris Meloni*) and the horrible nightmare she is now enduring. Each tease made it sound more and more dreadful; in fact, I believe the words "wheelchair-bound", "confined to a wheelchair," and "horrific" may have even been used.

So finally the story starts, and you see Rosie being pushed, in a wheelchair, with dozens of people behind her, and many in front of her, flashbulbs lighting up the interview. And it's a poor poor pitiful Rosie story - how she was doing her own stunt on the show, and got shaken too hard, and suffered:
"2 slipped discs, 1 bulging disc, 3 strained ligaments, and a severe pinched nerve".

And she's wearing some designer hard cervical collar to protect her neck, and frailly flailing her arms around, until the big reveal: she opens up her black and white designer cervical collar to reveal the "HORRIFIC SCAR" that she is afraid will end her career. Well that, and the fact that she may never DANCE again (when was the last time she had to dance in a role? And ever heard of make-up?)

So then she tells about the dreadful surgery, and the horrific scar ("but it will heal...."), and how she is under strict doctor's orders NOT to walk more than 2-3 blocks a day; hence the wheelchair. And BTW: "confined to a wheelchair" & "wheelchair-bound" mean you can't get out of the wheelchair. Period. It doesn't mean you get pushed around in it for photo-ops, and then get out to walk your "2-3 blocks a day."

Rosie's "Horrific" scar

Now here are SOME of my beefs with the above:

1) There is no such thing as a "slipped disc". Period. That is a layman's term for I don't know what. But it doesn't exist, medically.

2) I had the exact same surgery on 6/24/10.  Or really, I suspect, not the exact same, because I actually had 2 ruptured discs, 1 of which had acutely herniated, causing a large disc fragment to become embedded in the nerve roots supplying my Left arm, with associated severe pain and loss of strength in my left arm and hand. No strained ligaments that I know of, though. Whew!

3) I was discharged from the hospital less than 24 hours after my surgery, and the only wheelchair involved was the one they mandate carry you from your room to your ride. My doctor had released me to full, normal activity that morning, except I was to avoid lifting over 15 lbs, and I was NOT to do any overhead work. But walking - quite fine with him, as long as I felt up to it. And as a small business owner, I was back to work full time on 6/27/10 -- I was on pain medicine, and I got awfully tired, but you do what you have to do.

4) Rosie's surgery was, in my educated* opinion, well before 6/25/10 - and I am basing this on my professional* observation of the "horrific" scar she unveiled on ET last night - it looks a hell of a lot better than the way mine looked on 7/12 when the doctor took off the last of my steristrips - mine is STILL considerably swollen, both on the outside and the inside (per X-ray), and I still have no audible voice (a rare complication from the amount of scar tissue the doctor had to scrape away during surgery.)

My swollen, formerly swan-like neck - red from the allergic reaction to the dressing, 21 days post-op.

So I am baffled as to Rosie's wheelchair, and non-plussed by her "horrific" scar - and suspect this is all part of some impending lawsuit against SVU. Or just some badly needed publicity for her sagging career. My opinion, of course.

*Yes, I have a professional degree that allows me to formulate educated medical opinions.

Doctor's visit, and a New Bracelet

And the two have NOTHING to do with each other.

But 1st, the weather. We are having the MOTHER of all thunderstorms right now. Big booming thunder, pouring rain (that sideways kinda rain), low rumbling thunder, and lots of lightning. So far, the power has only gone out once, and that was brief.  It has been very overcast all day (but still 96 degrees, of course) - but at 4:30 I noticed that there was suddenly no light at all in the bedroom except from the bedside lamp (and the computer, and the TV...) - I looked at the windows, and it was just pitch black outside. And one minute later, the storm just seemingly came out of nowhere, full blast. Naturally, Bailey is now in hiding in my closet.

OK - Now the story about the new bracelet:

Future bracelet, 10 AM, Sunday, 7/11/10 - these are 16 gauge sterling silver rings made from square wire:

Bracelet, 3PM, Sunday, 7/11/10. This is the tryzantine (trizantine) pattern, a variation of the more well-known Byzantine pattern, using 3 rings at a time instead of 2 (that's a fairly basic over-simplification). I love how just changing from rings made from round wire to those made from square wire can completely change the look of the finished piece. And those of you who know me well know that my motto (for almost everything) is "the bigger the better" - so I am always going for the heavier gauge rings, and the wider weaves.

Different view of my new bracelet: There is no clasp yet, because I forgot to bring any home with me from the shop. So I will add a clasp tomorrow, and tumble it, and as they say on Etsy, "wallah!"**  I will have a shiny new bracelet!

I learned this weave in school last month - but it was a really quickie lesson, and I only made up one tryzantine unit, and packed it away with the rings, waiting for the opportunity to start in on it when I felt a little better. And I had left the handout directions at the shop - because who needed them? Well, I'll tell you who: ME. Because I am no longer 22 years old, and evidently can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday, much less directions to a new chainmaille weave I briefly worked on 5 weeks ago. So I spent about 2 hours on the computer yesterday trying to find a free tutorial, and finally, "wallah"! And I was able to make the bracelet.

Oh - and speaking of Etsy - I have many, many new listings in my shop - things I have made over the past 2 years and never gotten around to photographing (ugh) and listing. I spent all day last Saturday (7/3) photographing the stuff, and most of 7/4 and 7/5 doing the listings, and I have been gradually adding 1-3 items a day to my shop. Still have about 40 things to add!

I saw the THHS (Tall, hot, handsome surgeon) for my first post-op visit this AM (cue the tiny violins: he was in Cancun, lying by the pool, last week. And yes, I was eavesdropping as he was telling one of the nurses about his vacation as he was running between rooms, seeing patients. What of it?)

THHS says I am healing wonderfully, but he is very concerned about my persistent laryngitis/hoarseness. On the day after surgery, as he was discharging me from the hospital and explaining stuff, and telling me he would be putting off my normal 1-wk post-op visit until 7/12 because he was going to be "on vacation" blah blah blah He told me that I would be hoarse for up until 3 weeks, and not to worry. So, I haven't been worrying, because the 3 weeks isn't  up until 7/15.

But upon hearing, or NOT hearing, as the case may be, my voice this AM, he told me that he was concerned, and that in all the years he has been doing this surgery, he has only had 2 patients who had ultimately required cortisone injections INTO THEIR VOCAL CHORDS to restore their voice.

Excuse me - into their vocal chords? And as he is telling me this, he is miming a giant needle going in through the front of the neck - so I guess it is done under fluoroscopy? Who knows...

Then he says, and I am NOT making this up: "Why does everything weird always happen to YOU?"

Gee,.. THHS thinks I'm special! ♥

So he started me on high dose steroids to try to reduce the inflammation (woo-hoo - here comes the mania again!), before we start driving needles into my neck, and is standing up to leave -- because he is so far behind because of having been on vacation last week, boo hoo hoo ... and I told him that I had a few questions -

So he sits back down, and answers all my questions - one of which was about returning to my daily walks. Because Bailey and I had been walking 3 miles a day every day up until the day of surgery - and while I am not ready to do 3 miles tomorrow, I wanted to know if I could start walking again.  Except that last week, I suddenly developed this killer pain in both my heels - it's there when I get out of bed in the morning, but only when I step on the heel, and goes away after I have been up and walking for about an hour. But OMG, it is some bad pain - and stairs are the worst.

So he diagnoses plantar fasciitis. Great - that little devil can be a real bitch.

But he tells me that I developed it because I had been really working out my feet on those long walks, and the inactivity for the last 2 weeks is the cause, and that we have caught it early, and that the high dose steroids he prescribed for my voice will also fix the plantar fasciitis. And that I should wait one week, and then very gradually start building up my walking again.

And I am to call him in 2 weeks if I still have either the hoarseness OR the heel pain.

THE END.

**Yes, I know how to spell "voila".

Copper Clay

We offered a class on working with copper clay at the shop yesterday; we offer Art Clay Silver classes all the time - an introductory one, and lots of advanced one, but this is our first foray into Copper Clay.

Same instructor (Angela Foreman), who is a fantastic, patient teacher.

Copper Clay has a few basic, but strategic differences from Art Clay Silver, so I am glad I took the class. I had bought all the materials ahead of time, and toyed with the idea of just starting to play with it on my own, but I am definitely glad I didn't.

We started by learning how to make molds for the shape you want your piece to take; this was fascinating, and so easy!

You can make molds from so many things - sea shells (mine is from a real scallop shell), buttons (and you can find some new or antique buttons with terrific shapes and textures for the Art Clay process), beads, and so many other objects. And the molds work for any of the Art Clays - Silver, Copper, Bronze, Glass (glass clay is brand new!).

After we made our molds, we started working the clay, and then pressed it into the mold. One difference from Art Clay Silver - the Copper Clay is much quicker to dry out than the silver, so you have to really have your idea all ready to go, and work fast. The copper clay is not very amenable to rehydrating with water so you can continue to work with it once it starts to dry.

This scallop pendant used about 30 grams of clay - at a fraction of what 30 grams of Silver Clay would have cost! You can see how thick the pendant is - this is from using the mold. You don't have to use molds; you can use the rollers and roll out and cut your clay, and texturize it just as you can with Silver Clay - just gotta move fast!

After drying the pieces on the hot plate (which takes a long time when the pieces are this thick, you do a little sanding to remove the rough edges. In the greenware stage, the copper clay is MUCH softer than the Silver Clay, so the sanding goes very quickly (and you have to take care not to just sand off a chunk of your new project!

After sanding, the piece needs to fire in the kiln for 30 minutes, and at a much higher temp than the Art Clay Silver, so Copper Clay isn't really suitable for torch firing.

Once out of the kiln, you can brush them (which is what I did) to achieve this look, or oxidize with liver of sulfur, or tumble - or use the polishing cloths....there are a variety of finished looks you can shoot for.

We also learned how to layer Silver Clay items on top of the Copper ones - it was just a great class!

Bead Embroidery, Pt 2

I'm still on hold for Bead Embroidery - the teacher wasn't able to get by the shop this week to tell me what to do next

Here is the picture of the 2 smaller focal beads, that will go on either side of the larger bead shown in the post below this one.

I'm hoping the teacher will make it by this coming week, and I can work on this cuff next weekend. This weekend, I brought home some leftover chain projects from when I was at school a few weeks ago. Oh my, looking up that link made me realize it has been a full month since I got back from school - where does the time go? There's just never enough time for all the works-in-progress, and all the ideas!

So many beads, so little time....


And I took a really fun class today - copper clay. Will try to post about it tomorrow.

New Endeavor

I'm learning bead embroidery; I had my first class just a couple of days before my surgery, and only remembered enough details after the surgery to get the bezels beaded onto the focal beads.

As with ALL my projects, I never start small.

This will be a wide cuff bracelet, and this gorgeous focal bead from Etsy's Aneurythm will be the centerpiece.

I don't honestly know how she let this bead go - it is stunning - I can't believe all the colors in it, and I have a huge choice of colors to work with in the cuff, thanks to her!

These are the 2 smaller focals which will sit on either side of the large one - I have also beaded their bezels (but forgot to take a pic) - I used delicas in a deep brick red for these 2.

And now I am in a holding pattern, waiting for the teacher to come remind me what comes next. All I know is that I get to combine a huge variety of seed bead colors and sizes, and shapes for that matter, as I am going to use some bugle beads and some triangle beads, in a crazy glitzy freeform pattern, which is just my favorite way to bead.

Yay freeform! Yay asymmetry! Yay chaos!

Boo logic, rules, and order!