If I ever decide to move....

This sign would be so totally, totally appropriate!

I have really, really bad neighbors.

And it's not just the fireworks.

It's the 3, count them THREE, times they have run over one of my sprinkler heads while mowing their lawn with their entirely too-big-for-their-lawn riding mower, and neglected to inform me that gallons and gallons of water were spewing like a frickin' geyser from said run-over sprinkler head.

And then not paid for repair of same. Same sprinkler head - 3 times -- learn the location, idiot.

How about the hoe-downs they throw in their driveway, right outside my bedroom window? Complete with full-volume country music on the CD player, and coolers of beer and wine-coolers, and everyone sprawled out in the driveway in lawn chairs.

And now that their girls are in high school - how 'bout those boyfriends, that leave their cars running in same driveway, with rap music playing at absolute top volume until the wee, wee hours of the morning on the weekends?

And the time one of those now-teenage girls was 8, and decided to practice her karate kicks on my privacy fence? She was actually quite good - kicked out about 15 slats before I caught the little princess. And chased her to her front door, through the damn hole she had created in MY fence. And her Mom tried to blame it on some innocent kid across the street. And once the little darling confessed - her Mom dragged her over to my house to "apologize" - but no one volunteered to pay for fixing the damn fence!

Love thy neighbor - pfffffffft!