Kvetching about Projects

Not MY projects, mind you. Although it's a little tempting - - so little time, so much to do. My completed designs continue to pile up in my photo tent, where I carefully place them upon completion, with great intentions. But alas, the Photo Fairy never arrives, and I just know that if SHE is a no-show, then her friends, the Download Fairy, the Editing Fairy, the Uploading Fairy, and that fickle bitch, the Listing Fairy, will also be no-shows. And the more projects I pile up, the less I feel like tackling that job!

So, while I have been creating, I have no actual proof for you.

But on with my current peeve!

Like I said, Projects. Project Accessory, and Project Runway AllStars, to be exact.

First, Project Accessory.

Hard to know where to start, so let's just dive in.

I realize Project Accessory is a spinoff of Project Runway, but the producers really would have been wise to distance themselves a bit, stylistically, from PR. They have used PR's sets, identically (except for changing the logos from Project Runway to Project Accessory). They use the same format as PR, which could have worked, if only the show weren't so tragically flawed.

Molly Sims? Vapid. Certainly no style icon. Boring. Strutted some ridiculous looks on the runway in her little segments. She is no Heidi Klum.

Eva Longoria Manicotti, or whoever she is? Awful. Mentor? Unh-uh. Found her commentary pointless, and was it just me, or did it sound like she was really just saying different versions of the same thing everytime? She's no Tim Gunn.

The judges? Boring. At least Michael Kors and Nina Garcia show some humor and personality. Kenneth Cole? Ariel Foxman (who?)...Zzzzzzzzzz

(Eva, Kenneth, Ariel, Molly)

And the concept? I just don't get it.  I design jewelry. That's what I do. Would anyone really expect me to be able to design and fabricate a pair of shoes? This conceptual disconnect really bugged me from episode one. James was a fantastic shoe designer, but didn't stand a chance in a jewelry designing challenge. Etc.

And the finale? WTF?

As the final 3 were picking partners for the last challenge, I actually predicted, out loud, that whomever chose James would win, because they would have shoes in the bag (sorry). Yet, the first 2 contestants ignored James, and Brian nabbed him.

And Brian won - this is my big WTF moment. First of all, that resin necklace he created (below, far right model) looked like chipped, cracked golfballs and driveway gravel on gold-plated chain. Hideous. As was that weird necklace he actually sported himself at the runway show. Weird.

But the boots (center model), the pumps, and the clutch? Fabulous. Especially those slouch boots! I covet them. But, here's ths thing. Brian may have chosen that beautiful leather at Mood, but he didn't design OR fabricate the footwear, and my gut feeling is he had little to do with the clutch, either. So he wins, but because of James' contributions. In other words, James won.

And who should have won? Rich Sandomeno. Truly a genius with jewelry design and fabrication. So innovative. And that clutch he designed with the textured copper was incredible, and another piece I covet! But unfortunately, Rich was saddled with Diego for the final challenge. A mismatch if every there were one, stylistically, talent-wise, and especially in terms of attitude.

So, Project Accessory? A complete head-to-toe makeover is in order, and there might be hope for a second season. Make it work!

So, moving on the Project Runway Allstars.

I am a huge Project Runway fan, so I was more than excited to discover that the Allstar edition premiers in a week or so. I have seen the ads on LifeTime for a few weeks, but the only face I recognized was Austin Scarlett (I blame the rapid-fire editing of the commercial), so I cruised over to the website to see who these allstars would be. Well, ... uh, OK. As with most Allstar castings, I have mixed feelings. Love some, love to hate others (Hi, Kenley!)! And wonder about the inclusions of the rest (Rami? Zzzzzz). And am really sorry that Chris March isn't there! Did you guys SEE Mad Fashion? Love! Except the part where Bravo decided not to air the finale multiple times, like they normally do, so my DVR was set to record it, yet Bravo plugged in some sucky replacement show, so no mad Fashion finale for me. But I digress...

Here's the kicker. The REAL allstars of Project Runway are Heidi, Tim, and Michel Kors. Not so much Nina Garcia, but the other 3 are mandatory. So imagine my horror to see Joanna Coles cast in the Tim Gunn mentoring role (if you haven't seen her as a guest on PR, she is dry and dull), Angela Lindvall (Who??) in the Heidi spot, and Isaac Mizrahi (tool!) as a judge. Of course, that last bit explains why Tim Gunn is having no part in this. But Project Runway without Tim, Heidi, and Michael? I have lowered my expectations. At least that way I might be pleasantly surprised.

(Tim & Heidi)